Child Of Our Time

Tonight I continued my journey into the world of Masterchef the Professionals. Admittedly, so far I have experienced disappointment of monumental proportions on the fish and fruit front, with no 'fusion chefs' attempting to combine salmon and apple thus far; however, the frequency with which I sigh and roll my eyes at the TV screen has increased markedly, for which I am thankful. It's what I live for. In fact, it's given me the building blocks of a truly awesome drinking game. The rules are simple:

1. You must drink every time someone adds fennel to a dish
2. You must drink every time you hear a contestant say they're 'upping their game'
3. You must drink every time a purée makes it onto the plate
4. You must drink every time a contestant takes a spoon and drags it through said puree to make a pointlessly artistic smear across the plate in a manner that suggests they hope the curator of Tate Modern is watching
5. You must drink every time the ice cream doesn't set
6. You must drink every time Michel Roux says 'it's not without fault'
7. You must drink every time Gregg Wallace goes 'oo yeah, oo yeah, that's laaarvely'
8. You must drink every time Monica Galletti says 'my boss would not be happy'
9. You must now go to A&E because your stomach needs pumping. Sorry.

It's number 3 that I have a real issue with. Call me crazy, but I like to chew my food. In fact, humans need to chew their food in order to trigger the release of digestive enzymes that then process it internally. Millions of years of evolution have led to the sophisticated organism that is the modern man, with thousands of tiny genetic mutations slowly working their way into, and out of, the biology of our species over time so that we can do elaborate things like digest our food, and then along comes the pea purée and renders digestive enzymes obsolete. Savage. Of course, I continue to overlook such travesties in Masterchef because I find it funny when Gregg Wallace says things like "I stuck it in my mouth and I just thought, oh my word!" and "it's sweet and sticky, yet clean and fresh at the same time". I admit, when it comes to innuendo, it takes virtually nothing to make me giggle. My mind is well and truly in the gutter, and on the rare occasion it isn't, I'm often wondering why not.

My point is this - I think we all have an inner child; part of us that doesn't know where to look when eating a banana, part of us that still thinks the word 'shitake' is funny, part of us that developed during childhood that we refuse to let go of because it's like admitting to being an adult and letting go of our youth. I know what you're thinking - ahh, but there are some serious people who are mature enough to dismiss all that innuendo. They eat their banana and think only of the good things it's doing to their potassium levels. Bullsh*t. The truth is, we all have an inner child; however, the roles and responsibilities of some people require them to suppress it. Parents, for example, will not usually acknowledge their inner child in the presence of their physical offspring, out of concern for setting a bad example. People who hold an authoritative position at work may also suppress their inner child for fear of losing the respect of their colleagues or being deemed unprofessional. Incidentally, some people without any of these pressures may also appear to be 100% tried and tested mature! However, it is most likely because their inner child is unacceptable to them and they therefore put pressure on themselves to keep it under control, because that's what adults do. It doesn't mean it isn't there beneath the surface - it just means that, like the digestive enzyme which evolved to serve an important biological function, people who suppress their childlike qualities have adapted to the real or perceived pressures of their personal environment by developing psychological mechanisms of dealing with their immaturity. This allows them to survive in their jobs or in their home lives.

If you need proof that the inner child exists, even in the most 'serious' people, just look at the effects of alcohol. When all inhibitions and mechanisms of psychological suppression are removed, the playing field is levelled. We all become children. We become impulsive, have an uncontrollable need for immediate gratification, and show a general disregard for social rules e.g. speaking quietly and keeping our language clean around people we don't know. We also demonstrate a complete disregard for our personal safety and tend to have a naive, childlike belief that anything is possible, in addition to a distinct lack of self-awareness. It sounds pretty bad, right? Well, I happen to love the childish streak in me. Incidentally, mine tends to be present at all times, albeit amplified when I'm drunk. Yes, it makes me slightly stroppy and self-focused, it makes me say controversial things, it means I tend to sit on the fence and wait for others to make big decisions for me, and it means I'm constantly seeking approval from people with more perceived power/maturity. It also means that I'm 28 years old and expect to have no responsibilities; therefore, I am constantly surprised to discover that I do. These are the negatives. However, there are positives too. The immature part of my personality has meant that, despite being faced with some difficult situations, I am able to dismiss them and live my life in a relatively carefree manner. Burying my head in the sand? Naturally. But it helps me to stay happy. I occasionally lift my head back out to see what I've missed and address any outstanding adult issues, but invariably I go back to sandy, childlike ignorance. It means that I approach each day in the mindset that everyone is to be trusted until they give me a reason for doubt, it means that I view everyone as an individual with no thought for race, age, appearance or stereotypes, and it means that in the event of a bad day, one controversial joke about a penis will most likely turn it around.

Take home message? While unleashing the inner child allows me to function in my environment, suppressing the inner child has the same effect for others. All we need to do is identify the pressures in our lives, identify our childlike qualities, and then suppress just enough of ourselves to allow us to function successfully in our environment without compromising our own happiness.